Sometimes in the Darkness I See You
by waltzalascherzo
Summary: Because she wouldn't walk away from Regina again, she knew that now, because even though Regina couldn't grip her hands back, something else was holding onto Emma, that small shred of good in Regina's heart tying itself around her fingers, like a ribbon, like a fairytale, like a promise. (Swan Queen, spoilers for 2x22)


**Sometimes in the Darkness I See You**

Because she wouldn't walk away from Regina again, she knew that now, because even though Regina couldn't grip her hands back, something else was holding onto Emma, that small shred of good in Regina's heart tying itself around her fingers, like a ribbon, like a fairytale, like a promise. (Swan Queen, spoilers for 2x22)

_**Disclaimer: **_I do not own any of the characters contained within nor the show from which they appear in. Any coincidence to real life is unintentional. This story is not used for profit and is for entertainment purposes only.

A section of dialogue between Emma and Regina is transcribed from the actual episode. Credit to Writer-Monkey-Esq for the line about Queen and Idiots and a shout-out to pyrophoric's fic, The Secret's In the Telling for Emma's later response to the Idiot moniker. Also to whoever did the Detective Mills comment on Tumblr. You are an Ace.

_**Author's Note**_: I've been desperately churning away at this all day in hopes to get it up before the final episode airs. Happy Swan Queen and Hiatus to us all, and congrats to Lana on her engagement. And thank you for taking the time to read and review- Swan Queen has propelled me in great positive directions and every step I am thankful to this fandom, and its lovely people and insanely talented authors.

* * *

Emma was never particularly good at handling her emotions. From as far back as she could remember, she had learned that to bury, repress and deflect from her true feelings was what kept her going, and that anytime she let anyone see that side of her, it wound up in betrayal and devastating loss.

Like Neal.

She had her cry, had her little girl's dream of being comforted by Daddy but the shock still shook under the surface of her skin and only years of resilience kept Emma focused. The thought of protecting Henry resounded stronger than the echoes of her loss, reminding Emma that she needed to stay in the present. Emma stood near the foot of the bed where Regina was lying in repose, Snow at her side, the woman lost deep in her own thoughts.

David leaned against the railing. "Apparently Regina heard us talk about leaving her in Storybrooke."

_Without Henry? Like she would ever let that happen,_ Emma thought fleetingly.

Snow gazed down a Regina, her face an enigma. "…Regina doesn't like it when people leave her."

The phantom flames flicked at the edges of Emma's eyes, Regina's resigned belief that Emma would leave her echoing deep in her ears. "But she's always surprised when we come back," she said softly and saw Snow turn to her, eyes sharp.

"Regina is right," Snow said eventually. "This isn't the time to squabble. We've got to find out where Greg and Tamara are."

Instantly Emma felt a white-hot rage burn its path across her every cell and visions of her ending Tamara and Greg were vicious and soothing in her mind's eye. "They'll pay for what they've done," she intoned direly and ignored the concerned looks her parents shot at her.

"Our first priority is everyone's safety," David reminded her to which Emma gave a reluctant nod.

_What did it feel like_, she wondered briefly, _to crush someone's heart?_

Regina stirred audibly on the bed and broke Emma out of her dark thoughts with a shudder. _What the hell_, Emma trembled internally. She didn't fantasize about _murder_. "Gold needs to be told about Neal and Henry…"she trailed off to control the catch in her throat. "Well, he's gonna wanna see Regina. And maybe Regina wouldn't like to stay in those clothes 'cause they would be a reminder…"she trailed off and bit the inside of her lip, hoping that her parents would pick up on her request for privacy.

To Emma's intense relief, Snow and David exchanged a look and nodded. "I can take Henry's key and pick up something for Regina, and David can go talk to Gold and we can come back and you can come with us to…get Henry," Snow awkwardly finished.

"Sounds good," Emma nodded and held her breath until her parents with their compassionate looks and gentle affection exited the apartment. Releasing the breath unfortunately didn't dispel her tension but Emma held no illusions that it would. It was just her and Regina now and Emma knew that dwelling too heavily on her thoughts was not her forte so she picked up the washcloth next to the bed and shuffled her way around the bed so she was standing next to Regina's head.

Emma blinked owlishly, turning over different ways in her head that she could break the news to Henry about Neal. Every time she thought of their faces, her throat began to seize and her eyes burned so she shook her head and placed the washcloth to Regina's head. It had only been a few minutes of that back and forth before Regina suddenly sat straight up, nearly colliding with Emma.

"Regina—" Emma began but stopped short when Regina turned wild eyes to her and gripped her forearms with a frightening amount of strength.

"Daniel," Regina croaked out, her eyes glossed over. She stared at Emma with such gentle tenderness, it caused a crushing sensation in Emma's chest. Emma gulped as Regina slumped forward into her neck and fought back the urge to shove the woman away.

"Let me die with you."

Emma shivered as Regina's whisper imprinted itself into her shirt. She eased Regina out of her arms and back down to the pillows. Her eyes were shut once more but no longer scrunched together in distress. Emma gnawed at her lower lip in contemplation. She wished Mary Margaret were here—she and Regina both had those maternal instincts grounded firmly into the core of who they were, that they could take care of someone like this without worrying or just standing there like Emma, and what kind of mother could she possibly be, she needed Neal here, she couldn't do this without him, it was easier to be responsible and motherly when he was here, to compensate, to be more like Regina…

"Emma?" Snow's hand suddenly weighed down on Emma's shoulder and she sprung up, emitting a terrified squeak.

"She, uh, she was having a nightmare or something," Emma sputtered out, heart hammering.

Snow frowned lightly and placed the bundle of clothes in Emma's arms before stooping down to retrieve the cloth. She sat down on the bed and placed the back of her hand to Regina's forehead, her frown deepening. "She does feel feverish…but she said that the fail-safe could be activated at anytime. David's still not back?"

Emma shook her head tightly at her mother's worried look.

Snow studied Emma for a long moment, the gaze both pitying and contemplative. Emma clenched her jaw together. She just had to talk with her father about Neal and she wasn't quite sure she could handle a round with her mother right now. Thankfully Snow seemed to understand that Emma needed the space and got up. "I'll see if he is on his way," she said softly, as if her words could rouse Regina. She made to hug Emma but thought better of it and laid a hand on Emma's shoulder instead before exiting the room.

A groan emanated from under the blankets and tore Emma's gaze back to Regina. Regina looked to be in an obvious amount of pain but she stoically reduced her groans and schooled her features fast enough.

"Hey," Emma called out, clutching Regina's clothes tighter to her chest.

Regina's eyes opened rapidly and tore through Emma's heart in an instant before Regina dialed down their intensity. She struggled momentarily to prop herself up further against the pillows and Emma made her way closer to the bed before Regina shook her head. Emma drew up short and felt an achingly familiar scowl curl her lips. _Damn woman, damn pride._

By the time Emma was finished internally grumbling she looked up to see Regina already regarding her in a jarringly warm fashion. "What happened?"

And just like that, Emma retreated. How could this woman tell? _She_ was the one with the lie detector, not Regina, but the woman could sniff out when Emma was hiding something. Or lying, like Henry. So Emma ignored the question Regina was truly asking. "Mary Margaret went to get you something else to wear."

Immediately, Regina's face morphed from cautious to outright displeasure. That sight alone forced one of those awkward laughs to tumble from Emma's lips, relief at the familiarity of Regina, at a situation she knew she could handle. "From your place," Emma assured. "She used Henry's key. If she got them from your closet, they can't be too…er…"Emma trailed off uncertainly, the wardrobe of Mary Margaret flashing before her eyes in all its garish glory.

Regina harrumphed and cocked an eyebrow in a typical 'I told you so' fashion that nearly had Emma's eyes rolling in reflex. "One never knows," she intoned ominously, like reciting her own obituary. "But surely that impending debacle isn't the reason." She waited until Emma's eyes locked on her own and meaningfully traced Emma's face and back up to her eyes, indicating that she was fully aware that Emma had been crying.

Once more, Emma deflected. "…you're pretty strong," she offered and the respect was genuine. "David told me, well, what you looked like when they got to you."

Far from dismissing Emma's attempts to dodge the question, Regina exhaled loudly through her nose before tilting it up and away. "I thought it'd be you."

Emma gasped and fumbled with the clothes. "Wh–what?"

Sniffing haughtily, Regina pinned Emma with a condescending look that Emma was sure was in place merely to comfort her in its familiarity. "Tamara mentioned that you and Neal were on your way." A silence gutted Emma and she felt the overwhelming urge to bolt before remembering her promise to Henry that she wouldn't run anymore.

But damn if it wasn't hard.

"I was prepared to die."

Emma lost herself in her outburst as the scene of Neal letting go of her hand and losing someone who loved her flashed in front of her eyes, causing her to clench the clothes further to her chest. "I can't lose you, too!

"So it does have to do with Neal."

Fed up, Emma threw the bundle of clothes at Regina's feet before pacing the length of the bed, once, twice, thrice, Regina's eyes trained on her like a hawk, before she sighed and plopped down on the edge of the bed, next to Regina's feet. Regina's gaze was mildly expectant but not demanding like it usually was. A snippet of a conversation from months ago, about a man named Daniel shot to the forefront of Emma's mind and she deflated slightly. The knowledge that Regina would be the one who understood this pain tickled at the edge of her eyes and she bit her lip to prevent herself from crying.

"…we were in the cannery and Tamara knocked me over the head." Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Regina squint her eyes slightly and felt them rove over her head, as if inspecting for any outward damage and the snaky comment that she was _sure_ was flitting about in Regina's mind never came. "When I came to, she had already shot Neal. I…I fought with her and we were gonna get her when she threw a magic bean on the ground and a portal opened up." Pages from The Book flashed in front of her eyes, the wretched irony that Neal fell through another portal mocking her, so she shut her eyes. "He…he let go of my hand," she finished, words garbled and broken.

Minutes ticked by while Regina waited patiently, and Emma was wondering if the woman knew to wait until Emma got it together. When Regina spoke, it was with a tone Emma rarely heard her use. Like, maybe the last time was when Regina apologized to her, the memory causing a dull ache in her chest. "Maybe he's still alive; he did fall through a portal."

"Why are you suddenly so optimistic?" Emma demanded.

Regina gave her a wry grin, eyes splintering into glittering shards of darkness and light. "I'd wager I know more about killing someone than you do…and how some are more persistent at surviving than others." She shrugged best she could while lying in repose on the bed. The gesture was still somehow dignified and Emma couldn't help the arch of her eyebrow at the sight. "Besides, it's what Henry will believe. Not until you see the body…"

"Shut up! I don't even want to think of Henry seeing…"

"Why can't you admit that it's _you_ that's afraid, Emma!"

Emma and Regina were both breathing heavily through their nostrils at this point and glaring at each other. How could Regina demand the truth out of Emma when she was never so forthcoming in the past? How could Regina just glare at Emma out of understanding, and ask these things of her, surely she would understand what Emma was feeling and that…Emma's glare softened the same time Regina's did.

Regina _did_ understand. Maybe too well. She opened her mouth to speak when the door to the apartment opened, David coming through with a concerned expression on his face.

"Gold, well, you can guess how he took it," he cleared his throat awkwardly.

"Only too well," Emma muttered.

Regina's eyes glittered for a moment before she inclined her head to regard David and Snow who had descended the stairs quickly to convene at his side. "We can only hope that we have enough time to defuse this situation with the fail-safe."

"How do you mean?" David questioned.

Snow glanced up at him and then to Regina. "We know the lengths he went to in order to _find_ his son…" she trailed off as the situation visibly struck David.

"And having Lacey around won't help matters," Regina added. "Belle brought out the good in Gold. Lacey was designed to bring out The Dark One." At Emma's look, she huffed. "Not one of my more brilliant ideas but it served its purpose. And, like all the others, has come back to wreak havoc at the worst possible time."

"Like the villagers," Snow said softly and Emma felt Regina's whole body tighten next to her.

"…yes," Regina reluctantly admitted.

"Okay," Emma drawled. "Regina, we're gonna go get Henry and bring him back here, so, uh, you gonna be alright?" She stood up quickly, feeling an awkward flush creep up her neck.

Regina tilted her head in amusement. "Fret not, Miss Swan, I can hold down the fort." She paused, eyebrows bunching together gently. "Would you like me to tell Henry…?"

Her offer astounded Emma before she swallowed around the lump that had formed in her throat. "I-I should be the one to tell him," she stuttered and felt a grateful twitch of her lips lift for a fraction of a second. "But thanks."

"See you when you get back," Regina offered her own awkward smile and Emma heard the underlying plea that she not do anything stupid in the interim. She scratched her neck and nodded and headed out the door, her parents eyes on her every move.

* * *

Sometimes Emma hated it when Regina was right but this one time she couldn't bring herself to be averse to the prediction the woman accurately pinpointed. She had managed to tell Henry the barebones of what had transpired with Neal, unable to voice their shared confession, because, really, she told Henry not to get his hopes up and besides, it was the decent thing to do when someone you loved was plummeting into the unknown and was, for all intents and purposes, _dying_. Maybe it was closure or something, but for now, Emma cloistered her love for Neal and his for her deep in her heart, although she knew Snow suspected and Regina most certainly knew for a fact. Like Regina had told her, Henry was, of course, greatly saddened by the loss of his father but refused to believe that Neal was dead and that they could find him after he saw his Mom and took care of the bad guys.

Of course.

There was a slight pang of jealousy that festered in Emma when Henry's first question to her was a concerned query about Regina and her safety and his anxiety was infectious as they drew closer to the apartment.

Henry ripped the door wide open and called "Mom!"

The sight was going to be forever burned onto Emma's mind: the look on Regina's face and the unadulterated love shared between her and Henry as he jumped into her arms, the two of them clinging to each other, years worth of feelings yanked into a vacuum nestled between their arms.

Emma wanted that for herself. That kind of hug, the pulling need, the elation and overwhelming desperation of love locked in the arms of each other, the joy at seeing a person you loved, despite everything, or, perhaps _because_ of everything, traveling between them as they buried their feelings against each other, wrapped in the safety of who they were to each other.

Love, without words.

Henry and Regina mumbled to each other and Emma turned her head to afford them their moment. She wasn't going to intrude on this, not after she did take away Henry, a broken promise from so long ago cutting into her heart.

The ground suddenly trembled under her feet before a deafening roar echoed and the whole building shook, windows rattling. Emma instinctually turned to Henry and felt an overwhelming relief as Regina shielded his body with her own. After a few moments, the tremors died down.

"I'm taking it that Greg and Tamara figured out how to activate the fail-safe," David mumbled.

Regina looked terribly confused. "Yes, yes they did…"she trailed off, lost in thought as her arms slowly receded but Henry stuck to her side like glue. Emma wondered if he was terrified of losing another parent in the same day.

She was.

"What should we do?" Snow inquired of Regina.

Regina frowned severely at the ground, an arm around Henry's shoulders. A warning feeling rumbled deep in Emma's gut and the foreboding sensation made her frown in tandem. "Let's get to Granny's for now; we are going to have to find some way to evacuate the town."

"Can't it be stopped?" David asked, coming closer to Regina and she flinched from the closeness. David shot her an apologetic look and a moment passed between them before Regina sighed.

"We need to be prepared," was all she said.

David blew out a breath. "Okay, let's get some supplies and head over to Granny's." Snow nodded and joined him as they ascended the steps, likely to gather their weapons.

Henry looked between Regina and Emma before settling back on Regina. "I'll be right back, Mom," he promised and tore up the steps to his room, leaving Emma and Regina alone.

Regina broke the silence first. "The first time Daniel died…" she choked off and struggled to compose herself.

"Regina…"Emma began but was cut off by Regina stepping closer to her, a grounded look in her eyes.

"Sometimes you think you won't be able to smile properly again, their deaths taking all of your joy with them." Regina's eyes stayed on Emma as her own wandered fitfully. "When he was taken from me the first time, I thought only of bringing him back. I sequestered my love for him deep in my heart because I knew it would prevent me from doing the things I needed to bring him back and when that possibility was denied to me…it was like I couldn't fathom that I could ever find happiness again."

Emma gulped audibly, Regina's words hitting a little too close for comfort.

"There are some things I'm not proud of. I used to never want to hurt anyone but then all my rage at my loss convened on a desire for vengeance and I lost sight of what love truly was." Emma heard Regina take a hesitant step closer to her. "Then I met Henry," and she didn't need to look to Regina because she heard the smile in the older woman's voice. "But even then, I couldn't…and then he read The Book and I was doomed to forever be The Evil Queen in his…and everyone's eyes. Even mine."

"_We know how you are. And who you'll always be."_

Emma hung her head, remembering that not too long before that she had declared that this world, that _she_, knew Regina as _Regina_ and not The Evil Queen.

"Loss and despair can drive you to the worst conclusions and decisions, about yourself and everyone else. Take everything you wanted to be and throw it by the wayside, like you're schizophrenic," Regina wryly admitted and Emma knew she was referencing the many about-faces she had done since Cora arrived in Storybrooke.

"Things did get kinda crazy," Emma offered and looked up at Regina.

Regina nodded slightly and her eyes softened for a moment. "The important things you were supposed to remember and live by, they, they just seem to go away, despite your best intentions. The second time Daniel died…I…"she visibly choked on her own feelings for a second. "He asked me to let him go. So I could love again."

Neal's last images filtered in front of Emma's eyes and she shook her head rapidly to get rid of the images, the parallels that Regina's story told her.

"And now, in these last few moments, despite everything that I did, that I _am_," Regina gently called to Emma and forced her gaze back up. "…Henry showed me that he forgave me, when I haven't even forgiven myself. I learned that the love you find at the end is worth even more than the one you lost because that love heals your broken and damaged soul, Emma," Regina's voice got imperceptibly softer and infinitely more affectionate and it curled a fire deep inside Emma.

"Why are you telling me all of these things?" Emma managed to ask after several charged moments.

"Maybe…"Regina tapered off, looking to the side before returning her gaze to Emma. "…maybe I can tell you the things that _I_ needed to hear before it all went awry."

Emma full-on gawped at Regina before snapping out of it at Henry's thundering footsteps descending the steps. She stared at Henry and then back to Regina's knowing gaze, knowing their shared love for Henry was the thing that had truly saved them, that led them to love again in the first place. A sense of connection tickled at Emma's face until she shared a secret smile with Regina over the top of Henry's head.

Henry glanced curiously between them. "Y'know, it's kinda nice to see you two getting along," he chirped and Emma had to admit his resilience under such situations made her a little less sad.

"Alright, let's do this," Snow asserted as she and David, fully armed, joined them. She led the way through the door, followed by David and Henry, who followed along with far too much enthusiasm for Emma's liking. The kid liked adventure far too much, Emma darkly thought.

Regina was half-way out the door before Emma scrambled to release the thought she'd been holding onto for days. "Regina." She waited until Regina turned to face her, equal parts curious and wary. "I'm sorry." Regina's jaw dropped slightly and Emma licked her lips to calm her nerves.

"I am, too," Regina softly replied, the barest hint of a smile in her eyes.

Emma wanted to ask if Regina would forgive her but the woman merely inclined her head and exited through the door, leaving a befuddled and weary Emma behind.

* * *

By the time they had made it to Granny's diner, the whole town was abuzz with mass panic and mayhem. A cacophony of voices began as soon as Emma and her family entered the diner but before they could get in a word, another earthquake rattled the store.

"What the hell is going on!" Leroy demanded.

"Long story short, the town may explode so we need to get ready to evacuate. We can use Hook's ship to transport us out of Storybrooke," Snow told him, her regality silencing the room.

"What'd you do this time," he demanded of Regina who scowled back at him.

"If I started this, do you really think I'd be here helping get everyone to safety," she snapped at him, choicely omitting the fact that she built the fail-safe in the first place. _Ever the politician_, Emma rolled her eyes.

Before anything else could get squared away, the door banged open to reveal Hook, an arrival that sent everyone into the offensive. Emma and Regina moved in front of Henry while David lunged for Hook and dragged him in without much of a struggle, and pinned him to the doorframe.

"You've got a lot of nerve, showing up here," David growled.

Hook offered him a condescending smile before wiping it away. "Look, we don't have much time. I'm not especially keen on everyone dying simply so Rumplestiltskin can. And by everyone, I mean me." He grinned self-satisfied at the scoffs he received. "Greg and Tamara want to kill everyone and destroy magic, something Regina can attest to." He looked to Regina who reluctantly nodded her agreement. "They somehow knew how to activate the jewel and used the dwarves' pickaxe to activate it in the mine. I know where they're headed," he added.

David released Hook from his grasp with a loud grunt and turned to look at Snow who turned to Regina for guidance.

With a flip of her hair, Regina exhaled loudly. "Snow, you should prioritize the evacuation of the town to Hook's ship while Hook and David go to capture Greg and Tamara."

"You don't think we can make them stop the jewel?" Ruby questioned.

"One thing you can always rely on is the Captain's aversion to success," Regina dryly quipped, causing Emma to snort her amusement, Hook scowling at Regina. "And I can go to the mine and shut off the failsafe."

"I'm going with you," Emma said swiftly. At Regina's confused look, she added in an undertone, "I don't think it'd be a good idea for me to go after Tamara right now."

Regina gazed at her oddly. "No, you're right," she admitted, doubtlessly pleased that her conversation with Emma led her to the right decision.

Emma hated to admit it, but she was afraid she would become Regina and the pull to go after Tamara right now was so strong she was nearly sick with her urge to obliterate the woman. She was kind of thankful that Regina intervened on her behalf because she wasn't quite sure anyone else could talk her out of following up on her revenge.

"Mom," Henry said and it was more of a question than a statement. Regina made a face and steered him a little away from the crowd. Emma stood by them to make sure no one bothered them and Snow took it upon herself to wrangle in the knot of chaos around them.

"I'm sorry for everything, Henry," Regina told him. "I'd like this chance to make up for what I've done and who I've been. My atonement needs a place to start, and I think this is a good as place as any," she grinned and Henry's eyes perked up. "My chance at being a hero," she joked and Henry nearly bounced with excitement.

"You always had it in you, didn't you," Henry looked up at Regina, and Emma felt an ache in chest as he had to look up less than he did just a short while ago. "I'm sorry I didn't believe in you when I needed to," he admitted softly.

Regina gave one of her truest smiles to Henry. "What matters is that we are both in believing in me now. I'm glad it happened."

"Me, too," Henry smiled and engulfed Regina in a hug once more.

"I love you," Regina reminded him and the affection in the sentence nearly ripped Emma apart on the inside. Not so long ago she felt Regina had no soul and to see her come this far…

"I love you, too, Mom," Henry's voice broke a little as Regina pulled away.

"Well, then, watch over everyone while I'm gone, Henry," Regina ordered lightly and the warning bells in Emma's head fired off in rapid succession.

"Will do, Mom," Henry mock saluted and shared a little laugh with Regina.

"Let us be off then," Regina regarded Emma.

"I'll be back, kid," Emma mumbled absently as she followed Regina out the door.

* * *

When she and Regina arrived at the mine, Emma was prepared for a trap but Regina strode in, all pompous and full of certainty. In a short while, following the cart tracks and the draw of magic in the air, Emma and Regina arrived at the failsafe, the jewel hovering in the air. Emma wondered idly why Greg and Tamara weren't here and the thought struck her that maybe the blast _couldn't_ be stopped.

Emma hated it when she was right about these kind of things. Regina left her side and went to stand behind the jewel, facing Emma. Gulping loudly, Regina brought her shoulders up in an effort to create a confident aura that Emma knew for a fact that she didn't entirely possess.

"Slowing the device is going to take all the strength I have," Regina began.

Emma felt a chunk of fear plummet down her throat to collapse heavily on her stomach. "You're not coming with us, are you." Regina held her gaze steadily, silently admitting to the fact. "When you said good-bye to Henry…you were saying _good-bye_."

She heard Regina gulp as the woman declined her head, smiling a little before looking back up to Emma. "He knows I love him, doesn't he," she looked for assurance from Emma.

_Yes. No, don't do this, _Emma thought. "Regina, there's got to be another way—"

"You were right, you know," Regina cut her off. "Everything that's happening, it's my fault," she admitted, nodding along to her statement. "I created this device: it's only fitting that it takes me life."

"What am I supposed to tell Henry?" Emma demanded, the stone of fear sinking ever further into her gut, rupturing her hopes.

Regina looked askance, turning over her reply in her head. "Tell him…in the end it wasn't too late for me to do the right thing." She smiled at Emma then, a perfect, beautiful thing that clawed its way into the fragments of Emma's heart.

"Regina, please…"Emma tried again.

Shaking her head, Regina cut her off once more. "Everyone looks at me as the Evil Queen," and a second between them passed, Regina acknowledging that Emma spent a long time not thinking of her like that, and Emma's guilt at failing the both of them shattering that second into a million pieces. "Including my son."

_Including me_, Emma shakily took in a breath.

"Let me die as Regina…" she pleaded and Emma wanted to scream her denial, wanted to slap the sense into Regina, that death wasn't the answer, it was never the answer, that she hated fairytales and that she…that she…that she didn't understand Regina and she looked to the device and Regina didn't care that Emma hadn't verbally agreed and turned her gaze to the jewel and placed her hands around it.

Emma turned and took a few steps away, each footfall a voice crying out to her, questioning what the hell she was doing, she was letting someone commit suicide…

…she let Neal do it, too.

The thought made her pause and Emma turned around, a thought she wasn't even thinking beginning to form on her tongue. "Regina…I…"

But Regina activated her magic and Emma wondered if this is what she did before when she saved Emma's life the first time. She looked to the device and back up to Regina, noting that tears had already fallen down her face.

Emma knew what she had to do.

She turned and ran back out the mine.

* * *

"Where's my mom?" Henry asked as soon as Emma entered the diner. It was nearly empty, sans Ruby, Granny, her parents and Hook. Immediately Emma knew that he and David hadn't succeeded in apprehending the two bastards but this was more important.

"She stayed behind," Emma began and immediately Snow gasped and Henry turned a mutinous gaze on her.

"You left her?" He demanded and Emma bit back on the urge to fight back with him.

"She won't be able to contain the destruction for long, she's already weak," Emma continued.

Henry trembled a little and Snow quickly rushed to his side to look back up at Emma. "She can't do this alone," Snow said and her determination was tinged with sadness.

Emma nodded. "I know. I'm going back. My magic helped her before," she trailed off, glancing down at her hands.

"We won't let her do this alone," David's voice rumbled low next to her ear.

Fists clenching tightly, Emma nodded. "No, I won't."

* * *

Anticipation and fear warred in Emma's head as they drew closer to the mine. Once they got inside the mine, she stopped, her family halting alongside her. She didn't know what she could do to help Regina. Hell, she didn't even know if she _could_. But Henry wasn't losing two of his parents in one day, let alone all three. _But_, Emma thought, _but it's always good to be prepared, like Regina said._

Snow and David had worried and sad expressions splashed across their faces and Emma immediately dove into his arms for a large hug between them all. She quickly pulled away and gathered Henry in her arms for a tight hug but unlike Regina, she wouldn't say good-bye.

Because they were coming back.

She looked down the trail and absently pulled Henry to her quickly again before tearing down the path to Regina.

The magic was crackling ever more with each leap and bound Emma took on her way, the energy racing through her blood-stream as she willed her legs to move faster, to bring her closer to Regina. An exhale full of relief puffed out of her mouth as she arrived in the area to see Regina's face contorted with concentration and pain. The noise startled Regina and her eyes opened wide in disbelief as she beheld Emma.

_Still surprised that I returned for her_, Emma mused.

"I can't contain this much longer," Regina eventually warned but she wasn't fooling Emma. The tears in Regina's eyes weren't all from the pain and effort of containing the fail-safe. That knowledge spurred Emma forward with a confidence she wasn't really feeling. Because stepping away or attempting to stop Emma would result in loosing the ensuing blast and Regina wouldn't compromise her position, Emma triumphantly smirked to herself as she closed in on Regina.

"Y'know, I shouldn't have left you in the first place," Emma admitted, a few steps away from Regina. "As luck would have it, our son has your voice of reason." Regina let out a gasp of laughter that had Emma's insides churning painfully. Let her believe that it was Henry who was the driving force behind her return but Regina's next statement told Emma that once more, she couldn't hide anything from Regina.

"All magic comes with a price," Regina reminded Emma quickly, ever the clear-headed one.

Emma nodded tightly as she stopped right in front of Regina. "Last time I made _you_ help pay my price." The memories converged as a million swords piercing her heart and Emma felt bolstered that Regina appeared to have the same reaction to their memories. The guilt gnawed its way across her body slowly like a poison but Regina calling her name forced the negative feelings to abate instantly, much to Emma's gratification. "So this time, I'm gonna help _you_," she added gently and placed her hands over Regina's and instantly felt that electrifying, warm shock begin in her fingers and continue crackling throughout her.

_Stupid Regina_, Emma thought. _It's amazing she's held it together this long, despite having her unrepentant ass shocked to within an inch of her life._ The respect and admiration she felt for Regina were nowhere near as begrudging as they would have been in the past. She exhaled shakily through her nose, the feelings threatening to overwhelm her.

"If you're gonna do something stupid, at least let us do it together."

"Never send an idiot to do a Queen's job," Regina remarked with a slight twitch to her lips.

Emma released a garbled chuckle that thankfully didn't allow the tears pooling in her eyes to escape. "The quintessential idiot, maybe, can always lend a hand."

For a few moments, the only sound was Regina's labored breathing and the growing roar from magic. Emma had to concentrate on her own breathing lest she succumb to the fear that snarled around her heart, that Regina was weak and getting weaker and that perhaps she didn't help in enough time, that she wasn't strong enough to save Regina, that she was stupid and left Regina on her own the first time…

"The most helpful idiot," Regina softly spoke with undisguised affection. Emma bit her lip softly, much like they were months ago, when they discussed the Hat, before Emma left and everything spiraled out of control.

"Your idiot," she pointed out helpfully, feeling her necklace burn an indentation onto her skin at the words. Regina's eyes widened enormously, making her look years younger, more vulnerable, more human.

From Day One Emma was fed up with Regina. Every time she'd convinced herself she was done with the insufferable woman and her vile temperament, Regina would go and do something completely stupid, like save Emma's life or be human. It irritated Emma that she kept choosing to go back to Regina, but now, as she stood in front of Regina, the look on the woman's face implored a stirring in her chest, calling out to the buried parts of her own heart, Emma finally felt happy with her choice because this Regina…she was worth it, just as Emma herself was worth it. All the heartache and fights, awkward smiles and tiny gestures, the broken toasters and hearts—they just made this end result skip happily around in Emma's heart, spray-painting on the walls inside with their elation.

Then Regina had to go and ruin it by being that irrepressible voice of reason.

"I'm almost spent," Regina whispered and it might as well have been a giant gong clanging right next to Emma's ears because it made her whole body thrum and all the other sounds dim. "Take care of Henry and make sure you—"

"Stop it," Emma growled, gripping Regina's hands tighter, a vicious tremble spreading from her heart throughout her body. "Quit talking like that." She worked her jaw furiously for several charged moments, the power of their combined magic and the backlash of her emotional upheaval cementing her teeth together. Regina's watery eyes widened, imploring her to stop, to keep going, to stay, to leave. The words tumbled out of her lips without running by her defenses: "You're not dying," Emma said in a low timbre, a promise and vow grounding her and breaking Regina's face into shock with an underlying trace of affection. Their walls crumbled at their feet, shards of their strengths and weaknesses littering the ground around them 'til they were laid bare before each other.

All magic came with a price, Emma remembered that warning clearly. The price when she confronted Regina so long ago, their relationship, their honesty, their raw and hesitant smiles and hands outstretched towards each other, it came trickling back, like the first drops of rain onto the barren land where life—where _love_—once flourished.

It felt _good_.

If this was what magic truly felt like, Emma never wanted to walk away from it.

(Because she wouldn't walk away from Regina again, she knew that now, because even though Regina couldn't grip her hands back, something else was holding onto Emma, that small shred of good in Regina's heart tying itself around her fingers, like a ribbon, like a fairytale, like a promise.)

But Emma forgot that the kind of hope she believed in now was only the stuff of derivative trash that people told themselves to comfort themselves in the darkness. Now she could see in the darkness, and she saw Regina, truly, and it was so long in coming that she shouldn't have been surprised as she was when Regina tore her eyes away and to a spot above Emma's shoulder.

"Snow!" Regina cried out and Emma was stupid and looked behind her because Regina would never reach out for her mother with such desperation. That second of weakness cost Emma everything, for Regina knew Emma, was aware of Emma's cues and foibles, knew exactly what to do to bend Emma to her will. With a slight twitch of Regina's hands, Emma felt a tiny explosion of magic under her palms push up against her and scooted her several feet backwards, straight into her mother's arms.

"Regina! Don't you dare!" Emma screamed even as Snow's arms clenched tightly around her middle.

Regina merely gave her a garbled smile, full of nobility and something in her face must have triggered Snow's most treasured memories for the sob that came from her rattled Emma's bones and drove tiny icicles inside her.

_The price of magic._

"What is a hero if not a sacrifice…?" Regina asked, her lips slowly losing their colour, in time with the rest of Emma's sensations dying.

The difference between a heart skipping and stopping should be clear, Emma thought as she struggled in her mother's embrace, nearly breaking free when another, heavier force anchored itself to her, the sound of her son screaming for his mother echoing across the mine like a gunshot heard when she was underwater.

When your heart skipped, you felt love.

When your heart stopped, you felt terror.

But right now, with her heart seemingly refusing to function, it felt a lot like both.

With eyes shining, both with magic and unshed tears, Regina gazed at Henry, flickering quickly to Emma's before settling on their son. "I love you," she whispered like the breaking of a dam.

Light, brighter than the walls of an asylum, ripped from the jewel held aloft between Regina's hands and bathed the area with its brilliance. Emma tried to keep her eyes open but the light burned them so much she closed them, welcoming the sliver of darkness afforded to her. Soon the light from behind curtains shielding her eyes dimmed and Emma chanced opening her eyes once more. Immediately her knees buckled and only the strength from her father's arm held her up.

Regina's form was crumpled along the floor, as if she were merely an extension of the ground itself, an artifact made for the background, an intricate detail lost amongst the ravages of time.

"No, Mom, no…" Henry choked out and that was the final straw for Emma. She turned her head and buried her face into David's chest, the tears cascading down her cheeks as her heart began to beat once more, the sound of his spurring it back to life. Her whole body began to tremble as she let herself weep, her memories of Neal and Regina interchanging rapidly in her mind and heart as her despair sunk in.

Emma was supposed to find, not lose.

Her life was fabled to be a cacophony of love and Happy Endings and, from where she was currently struggling to remain upright, it sure as hell wasn't a fairytale. Various tripe and drivel about being The Saviour had been forced down her throat for so long that a part of her had been conditioned to believe it. And that was the price for her belief, something that Emma knew, that she had been taught: nothing ever turns out good. The price for your trust? Abandonment.

Neal and Regina both chose to leave Emma and she wasn't sure she could get over it again. Twice Neal had left her, for love. Regina left her when she was supposed to…Emma snuffled as she craned her neck, smearing her snot across her father's shirt. Henry had peeled himself from their circle and was staring up at the ceiling with hope splashed across his smile.

"Tinkerbelle!"

Emma pulled her head back, perplexed. "What the hell?" A golden-hued orb pulsed with a light so warm, Emma could feel it approaching even through her coat. Unfortunately she was unable to question the glowy-thingy (because, really, Emma thought sourly, she couldn't see a body so it was a thing until proven otherwise) when the mine gave another great rumble, ground and ceiling quaking and rattling, chunks of debris plummeting to the ground. "Regina!" Emma's pulse pounded loud and hard in her head and she shoved against David and flung herself toward Regina, landing next to her body and shielding her from falling rock.

"Emma!"

Tucking her chin into her collarbone, Emma continued to cover Regina's body, grunting as chunks rained down on her back but she sure as hell wasn't gonna let Regina get crushed by this, not after all she did to contain the blast, not after what she meant…to Henry. "Get outta here! I'll find a way, go!" She yelled as best she could in the direction her family was as stones filled the divide between them, dust pooling the air and forcing her to cough and she buried her head in Regina's shoulder to ward off the effects of the dust on her lungs.

After several minutes the rumbling died down and Emma was frankly astonished that the ceiling didn't collapse on her. She wondered briefly if maybe her magic shielded her and Regina from the worst of it.

It happened that the stirring under her arms coincided with the one in her heart. Emma's breath quickened as she froze, praying to everything she didn't and did believe in that it wasn't a trick of her mind.

"Em…ma…?"

Never had Emma been quite so ecstatic to hear her own name. To hear someone call for _her_.

Regina's shoulders bunched together, as if collecting herself and Emma allowed herself one moment in which her body followed Regina's, the crown of her head gently rubbing against Regina's hair before pulling back and collapsing on her rear, staring at Regina, mystified. The woman righted herself slowly, carefully, as if she couldn't believe she were still alive, either. With trembling arms, Emma forced herself to remain still and not launch herself at Regina in relief.

Her hand resting over her heart, Regina shook her head lightly and finally turned to behold Emma. "Emma," she repeated, a tether to reality.

And just like that, Emma found she was able to smile again.

"I told you that you weren't gonna die," Emma proudly declared, not caring that her voice broke.

Regina's eyes softened and the sight of her starting to smile drove Emma to close the gap between them and hug Regina tightly to her, the other woman stiffening for a mere fraction of a second before gripping back. Her sigh melted through Emma's coat and cradled the pain in her heart, a soothing presence that promised acceptance and forgiveness.

She could tell then: Regina did forgive her.

"Now," Regina collected herself as she reluctantly drew back from Emma, and Emma had to remind herself not to clutch Regina tighter to prevent her from leaving. "Let's go to our son," she smiled, so full of happiness that Emma could swear that her heart was going to burst from rainbows.

"Okay," Emma grinned back as she stood up first and offered her hands to Regina who eyed them for a moment before accepting the gesture and when she pulled Regina up, it felt like so much more than that.

Regina's magic flared and called for the aid of Emma's and Emma wasn't sure how she could really give it to Regina, but she remembered wanting to help Regina like the last times, and, sure enough, the air rippled and a veil of smoke, a warm violet, surrounded them and Emma felt a little woozy as Regina transported them to the entrance of the mine.

All of Emma's good feelings evaporated as she turned to look for the rest of her family and saw no one. She reflexively gripped Regina's hands tightly and turned to the woman, panicked. "They're gone, Regina, we need to find them."

The terror in her eyes was reflected in Regina's even as she gave a reassuring squeeze to their joined hands before breaking free from them and stooped to the ground. Emma immediately laid a hand on Regina's shoulder, knowing that the woman was going to need more magic. Scooping around on the ground, Regina produced a button that Emma recognized as belonging to Henry's coat.

She chuckled in relief as jets of green erupted from the ground, a trail leading out the mine. "Way to go Detective Mills," Emma quipped.

Regina turned a smug look up at her. "Better than three out of three Sheriffs," she sarcastically replied and Emma loved rolling her eyes at the woman's remark.

"Yeah, yeah, ouch, that hurts, let's go," she said as Regina rose and they quickly ran out of the mine, following the trail and meeting up with David and Snow within a couple minutes.

"Greg and Tamara took Henry," David wheezed out as Regina and Emma joined them.

"They sure as hell aren't keeping him," Regina growled fiercely, bolstering everyone. Emma knew that Regina _always _got things done and felt a trickle of relief and hope worm its way around the fear inside her.

* * *

Resting her head on her arms, Emma let the breeze wind its way throughout her hair as the Jolly Roger continued to sail forth. They had chased Greg and Tamara to the docks but the two had thrown a magic bean to the ground and whisked away Henry before she and the others could stop them. The immense despair Emma felt was rivaled only by her unadulterated fury. She couldn't comprehend how they had failed to get Henry back, not when they were all the good guys and when Regina was on their side. Hook had joined them an showed them the single magic bean he had pilfered from Greg and Tamara and mentioned that Tinkerbelle may have stayed with Henry, the trail of her fairy-dust providing a trail for them to follow. Regina had informed them that they could follow Henry through that portal and that's how Emma wound up here, on a ship, having to sit and do _nothing_, hoping that Regina was right and that they could get to their son in time, and…and…

She raised her head as the sound of approaching footsteps came to a halt and Emma spied Regina out of the corner of her eye. She had come up to the deck in order to escape, and run as much as she could but Regina's presence didn't make her angry as the others' did. Regina still afforded Emma her space, despite the fact that she was perilously entrenched in Emma's personal space, their arms brushing.

"Careful, Emma. I could sense your despair and fury in your magic. It was only a touch but…that's what magic can do. It can twist the most precious parts of you into a mirror that you only want to break."

"Is that why you wanted to die?" Emma retorted.

Regina sucked in a breath. "I wanted to die as myself. But I think living as myself, that's far better," she said and gave a pointed glance to Emma.

Emma craned her neck to regard Regina and mentally accepted the warning. Maybe she and Regina could keep each other from becoming their own nightmares. "They took Neal, and now our son, Regina. Tell me you don't want to hurt them."

"Of course I want to end them," Regina tartly replied. "But I have to remember that Henry is my—_our_—number one priority. His safety takes precedence over their lives. What happens after…"Regina trailed off, turning her gaze to the sunset and for a moment Emma found that Regina was actually rather pretty. "Well, a Queen has to take care of her idiots," she loftily said, but Emma could sense the darkness under the statement.

"No way Regina, if you're not gonna let me fall to the darkness, I sure as hell aren't gonna let you, either. We're in this together now," Emma fiercely reminded the other woman, sucking in a deep breath as Regina turned an incredulous look to her.

Regina stared at Emma for a moment, the intensity of her gaze heating the back of Emma's neck. She shook her head lightly before smiling softly and placing her hand over Emma's. "Together," she said, like a prayer, a hope, a wish.

Emma saw Henry in Regina's smile and felt a wave of affection crash over the one of despair. She laid her other hand over Regina's.

"Together."


End file.
